A Good and Perfect Gift

Recently, my pastor started teaching from the Book of James.  After the first couple of messages, I’m certain that the Lord had him write those sermons just for me.  It is so obvious that God wants me to “get” what He is throwing at me…I’m hearing it everywhere lately…and not just at church, but in conversations with my family, on the radio and in my own Bible study.  (I LOVE it when God does that.)  The message that really hit a chord with me was taken from James 1:16-18.  It says:

“Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers.  Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.”

Without rambling too much, I’ll try to condense what my pastor said.  He started by asking the question, “Do we expect goodness and favor because we know God?”  Immediately, I knew what he was getting at.  Following Jesus does not come with the expectation that life will be comfortable or predictable.  It simply does not work that way.  Anticipating that God will wipe away every trial and hardship because of a personal relationship with the Lord is a false understanding of the reality of His goodness.  My pastor said it this way: “God’s goodness and the trials we face are not mutually exclusive.  Rather, the good things 'coming down' are present in the midst of those trials.”

Now, this isn’t anything new to me.  Having been a Christian for years, I’ve heard these truths since I was a little girl.  What’s more, they are truths that I really believe.  As a matter of fact – if you know me well – you may have heard me talk about this topic a lot.  Buuuuut, sitting in that pew a couple Sunday’s ago, it was like I was smacked upside the head with the realization that lately I have been buying into the very deception that James is warning us about.  I have been expecting God to fix things for me just because I’m His.  What’s more – I realized that I have been trying to bargain with God.  Expecting Him to give me what I want pending I get my act together.  With tears burning my eyes I bowed my head in the middle of the service and asked God for forgiveness.  Who am I to think that I can subdue God's will for me, or that I can tame God with my good behavior?  In keeping with the title of this blog – even if I had the capacity to live a perfect life, predictable and comfortable favor isn’t promised this side of eternity.

But, James goes on to describe the good and perfect gift that is promised this side of eternity.  Earlier in the same chapter, James says to consider it pure joy when you face trials and temptations…and if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask for it.  When we ask for it, God will give us His continual, good and perfect gift of wisdom during our trials.  God doesn’t promise us a life without struggle, but rather, He promises that we will have Him during those struggles.  And even better – God promises the gift of His Son.  God chose to give us birth through Him.  HE brings forth life!  James 1:12 &18 says:

"(12) Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.  … (18b) that we may be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.”

I love that!  Not only are we saved from our sin, but we are God’s firstfruits.  This means He values us and sets us apart as the best part of His creation.  I don’t know about you – but that right there is enough to diminish the weight of my trials and temptations.  If God calls me the firstfruit of His creation, then I can have the confidence to trust that He knows exactly where I am and He knows exactly what I need.

Thanking the Lord for a much needed reminder of how He works in our lives…for forgiving my selfish ambition…and for answering my request for wisdom - His good and perfect gift.

I'm starting a blog.

I really enjoy reading blogs.  I have always wanted to start my own.  But, truth is, I think I'm too vain and worried about what others think of my writing.  I've always felt that if I were to keep an on-line journal of my personal thoughts on life, what I'm learning, my opinions etc., I know for a fact that I'd scare away my own family if they knew what was really going on in my head.  I can't write one of those DIY-crafty-blogs, because (though I wish I were) I'm not crafty, and lets face it, I would much rather buy something new than make it on my own.  I have thought about one of those family blogs too - you know, where "mom" keeps everyone updated on the latest goings-on in the Smith Family.  But, successful family blogs are usually about families that live abroad, have amazing stories and are written by moms with real writing ability.  All of which, I have none.

Speaking of which, I'm not a very good writer.  Sure - I can whip up an "A" worthy blue-book essay for a college exam or stay up all night writing an 80-something-page paper for an 8:00 am class (yes, true story), but I'm not a writer. Good writers can construct gorgeous sentences using spectacular vocabulary and manage to sound both intricately perceptive and charmingly of-the-cuff at the same time.  All of which, I can not do.  Plus (and goodness knows), I have terrible spelling and grammar...I have a tendency to ramble...all of which spills out in messy run-on sentences that use lots of unnecessary punctuation and that sound a lot like I talk - which (I guess) is what I'm sorta going for - but, I'm certain it would just get annoying to those that were reading it.  .......!  Which of course, I don't want to do.

And yet, despite all my thoughts otherwise, here I am starting my own blog.  I don't really know what this blog will end up being.  If nothing else, it will just be a journal of my little world.  ...About a month ago, I made a mental list of the things I'd like to see happen in my life, the things I want to change, and the places I'd like to end up.  As a Christian, I know that ultimately my life is in the Lord's hands.  I'm so thankful that I personally know the real joy behind the words "amazing grace."  I have experienced the life-altering reality of what it means to receive God's mercies.  They truly are new. every. single. morning. But, words can't tell you how much I hate to admit that I am still such a mess. Seriously, I have got to get it together.  I can not talk about all that the Lord has done for me and then turn around and continue to live the life that I have been living.  No, I'm not who I used to be - or where I used to be; I have picked myself up out of the "pit."  But I'm just standing here, not changing.  I'm just waiting, expecting life to take off and for God's favor when I have no intention of moving.  Who am I kidding?  I may not be in the pit anymore, but instead I'm teetering on the edge of it - and that is not much better!  The slightest wind, and I'll topple back in.  I desperately want to be different.  I want people to know and see the work of the Holy Spirit in me, I don't want to feel I need to convince them of it.  I want ooooze a testimony rich with tangible evidence of God's grace and mercies in my life.  I want to change. Period.  

So, with that being said, I'm going to put my vanity and worry aside.  I'll let others think what they may of me and my writing.  Instead, I look forward to seeing where I'll end up.  I hope that this blog will serve as a journal to document my journey.  A journey into knowing my Lord and Savior better.  A journey into becoming a better mom.  A journey into developing discipline and wiser stewardship of the things that God has blessed me with.  A journey that is looking forward to the hope of forever with Jesus.

This is my journey full of the ups and downs that come on this side of eternity.